Releasing My Secrets

Radical Freedom from Secrets

Welcome! I’m glad you have decided to make use of this bonus program. It a perfect complement to the other two, because, as we have already noted, it is one thing to feel guilt or shame about something, it is quite another to have to hold it as a secret as well.

In doing the other two courses, you may already have listed things that you hold as a secret. It doesn’t matter – list them here too, in the pages that follow. It’s a slightly different way of processing the same things.

It is always a good idea to complete the page you are working on by clicking the “Next” or “Continue” link at the bottom, and that way everything will be saved for you the next time you open that unit. You may also want to write and save your work in your word processing program first. You can then do a copy/paste into this program. That way, if you lose connection to the Internet, your power, or anything else unexpected, you will still have your work saved.

Click “Next” to begin the program.

The Releasing Secrets Worksheet

This will help you process a secret of your own that you have felt obliged to keep or been too scared to divulge. After you have listed it, we will suggest ways in which you can release the energy you have invested in keeping this secret, without necessarily breaking your vow.

Exercise: Describe the Secret

Enter a description of the secret into the first field.

Then, indicate on a scale of 0-100, the degree to which it has weighed upon you
(0 = no weight; 100 = unbearable pressure), and then indicate whether or not you are still keeping the secret (yes or no).

Exercise: Assessing the Risk in Having the Secret Become Known

Now decide either to stop holding the secret, or continue holding it a secret.

Releasing the Burden of Secrecy

If you’ve chosen to not divulge the secret at all, you might want to listen to a special 10 minute meditation that will help you release the toxic energy tied up with the secret and residing in your body. This will help you to let go of the weight of responsibility and the burden of obligation. Even without letting the secret out, you will feel lighter and freer.

Releasing the Burden of Secrecy Meditation

http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/online_programs/secrets/flashland.html

The Releasing Secrets Program

If you chose  to stop holding the secret. Is there someone in particular you would like to tell your secret to?

If you answered yes, then ask yourself:Would they want to hear it? yes no
Will they blame me for opening up a can of worms? yes no
Is it best to let sleeping dogs lie? yes no
Would I just be dumping on them needlessly? yes no

You have 3 choices:
 

Tell the Person Involved.

This is a very courageous choice and clearly one that carries some risk. However, through doing this program you have carefully assessed that risk and presumably have determined that the benefits, both to you and to the other person, or people, far outweigh the risk.

Be prepared for some resistance to arise in you, though. You will be inclined to put it off, I guarantee. For that reason, we very strongly suggest that you commit, right now, to doing this within the next seven days.

Having committed, the next thing is to decide how to go about it. Do you write the person, send an e-mail, set up a face-to-face meeting, make a phone call or what? It depends on so many factors, but normally the best, if not the safest and most comfortable way, is to arrange a meeting so you can talk face-to-face.

The person may become upset or even angry when the secret is revealed, but at least you will have a chance to say more and answer, right there in the moment, any charges or questions. If you do it by phone, the person might just hang up. If you write, there is no discourse and you won’t know what the response is.

The more personal you make it, the more chance there is that the person will get your compassion, regret, remorse or whatever emotion needs to be conveyed.

Be as sensitive as you can but be resolute in your belief that it is best for all concerned that the secret be told and that, in the end, everyone will feel better. You will probably find once you get it out, that it won’t seem nearly as serious as you had previously thought. Just be brave and trust the process. Good luck.

Tell a Disinterested Party

Presumably, you have judged it to be just too risky to tell the person or people involved or they may not be around to tell. Nevertheless, you will find this very liberating.

However, you must choose your disinterested party very carefully. He or she must be a person who you feel will receive your secret without judgment and with empathy for your need to have kept the secret up to now.

Make sure you have time enough to talk it through without hurry. You will also want to be sure that the person will respect your privacy and not share it with it with others, though be careful not to burden the person with a ‘secret’ that becomes a problem for them. That means choosing someone for whom your secret would carry no charge for them personally. Your secret should not be about someone they are connected to. That’s what we mean by ‘disinterested.’

Be prepared for some resistance to arise in you about doing this. You will be inclined to put it off. For that reason, we very strongly suggest that you commit, right now, to doing this within the next seven days. Do not procrastinate over this.

Believe me, you will feel so much better once you have done this and you will probably wonder why you have worried so much about it. Once you tell it, it never seems as bad.

Tell a Radical Living Coach

Telling your secret to a Radical Living Coach is definitely the safest route. He or she is trained to listen with empathy and sensitivity and to be free of judgment, no matter what.

The essence of Radical Living coaching is to be able to hold that whatever has happened to a person, whatever they might have done or not done, or whatever is occurring now is perfect in the spiritual sense, and nothing wrong has ever happened. So, no matter what your secret, they will be holding you in the light and seeing you as perfect.

So, tell your whole story and don’t hold back. I feel sure that you will find it to be a freeing experience.

To Choose a Radical Living Coach click here.