Radical Self-Forgiveness – The Reframe

Recap

What you have done so far is scan your entire energy field for all the blocks caused by guilt and recrimination over your “crimes and misdemeanors,” and current behaviors You have listed them and brought them all to the light. That in itself was healing. But now we have to transform them. That’s the purpose of this module.

In terms of the five stages, so far you have done the first two, Tell the Story and Feel the Feelings. And, insofar as you have neutralized quite a bit of the energy tied up in things you had no right to feel guilty about (inappropriate guilt), you have made a good start on stage three, which is Collapse the Story. This will continue.

Transformation and Surrender

The next thing is to transform the negative energy tied up in all the stories about your crimes and misdemeanors by doing a radical forgiveness reframe — one that covers all of them. This should go a long way towards clearing your energy field of all that generalized toxicity. Actually the step is not yours to take — it is Spirit’s. But you have to let Spirit know that you are at least willing. The reframe is how we do that.

So what is a reframe? Well, imagine one of your crimes depicted as a painting. Now imagine that there is a very large, heavy-duty frame around the picture. This represents how you have “framed” your crime or have given it context in human morality terms. Now imagine that all the ideas, beliefs and rules of ethics and morality that provide the context for your crime were inscribed on all four sides of the frame.

They might include:

• That was a terrible thing to do.

• You deserve to be severely punished.

• It is inexcusable that you did that.

• You should have known better.

• There was no justification for that.

• You will never be forgiven.

• Look at the damage you have done.

• See how much you have hurt someone.

We could go on and on, of course, because this is the kind of thing you’ve been saying to yourself for a long time, right?  However, as we have seen, if your guilt is appropriate — i.e., you really did do wrong — then you are actually entitled to have these things said to you. In that sense, you’ve earned it and are entitled to “frame” your crime in this way.

Alternative Perception

So, could it be framed in any other way? Is there another way to frame it so as to release the energy of guilt – one that would make sense and be defensible – without having you abdicate your responsibility? I think there is. It is a spiritual frame and it draws, of course, on the concept of Radical Forgiveness.

Listen, I know this might be a stretch. It can be hard for us to get our minds around this idea. Oh, maybe we can see it intellectually with small things particularly, but when something really big and horrible happens, it’s hard to see the divine purpose.

Fortunately, we don’t have to see the divine purpose for Radical Forgiveness to work. What we have found is that, if you simply express a tiny amount of willingness to be open to the possibility that there is spiritual perfection in everything, then miracles happen. The way is opened for problems to dissolve and for you to feel more peaceful.

Remember, I said willingness. I didn’t say belief or faith. You can be as skeptical as you want; it will still work if you simply use the tools that Radical Forgiveness provides. All of them give you the opportunity to express a little willingness to entertain the possibility of there being divine purpose in everything.

This brings us then to the Reframe.

The story itself is not changed. The crime was whatever it was and, assuming the guilt was appropriate, the guilt was earned. If there was just punishment, then that was all part of it.

But now, with the Radical Forgiveness perspective, we can legitimately change the context into which the crime fits. We can give it a spiritual frame.

This is not to say, of course, that you are not responsible or accountable for your actions in the human world. Clearly you are, and whatever happens as a consequence of those actions is all part of the game being played out.

The spiritual frame is the idea that you were mandated to do what you did to the other person because his or her soul had asked it of you is so foreign to you that it feels repugnant.

This is not to say, of course, that you are not responsible or accountable for your actions in the human world. Clearly you are, and whatever happens as a consequence of those actions is all part of the game being played out.

Example

The classic example of this mandated is Judas. He was clearly part of the plan. Without the betrayal, Jesus could not have fulfilled his mission. Judas was perhaps the one disciple who — at the soul level — loved Jesus enough to betray him, knowing that he also would suffer dire consequences.

If you are struggling with this concept, I might suggest that you read, or even re-read my book, Radical Forgiveness. You will find these ideas flushed out in much greater detail in there. In the meanwhile, allow yourself to suspend your judgments and just trust the process. Remember, belief is not necessary. And you have nothing to lose.

Exercise

Write a reframe that more or less covers everything that you have ever done that you have appropriate guilt around. You can use what I have written here, filling in the blanks.

I, (type your name below)

[add fields here]

must have been purposeful in some way in the spiritual sense. While I do not understand the purpose, or know why these things had to happen, or why I had to be the one to do them, I now realize that divine purpose was being served in some way, and therefore, in that sense, I did nothing wrong.

While I fully recognize that, in the world of humanity terms at least, what I did was clearly wrong and I take full responsibility for it, I nevertheless surrender to the idea that Spirit does not make mistakes and that what I did was exactly what I had to do to be of spiritual service. I am sorrowful that I hurt some people but at the same time know that, spiritually, I was serving them in some mysterious way and I give thanks for the opportunity to contribute to their growth and to further my own. I now see that I was a blessing in their lives and they were a blessing in mine.

I now release the toxic energy I have been holding within my body, mind, DNA and cellular structure, and surrender to God’s love, knowing that his Love is present in every situation, in every way; and that I am loved.

Congratulations! You have completed the preparatory phase of the Self-Forgiveness Program.

The next Module is the Self-Forgiveness Worksheet.

I, XXXX, now fully realize that the things that I have done, about which I feel guilty and have listed during this self-forgiveness program, such as:

asljfgasgj as asgfj asfg ajs ga must have been purposeful in some way in the spiritual sense. While I do not understand the purpose, or know why these things had to happen, or why I had to be the one to do them, I now realize that divine purpose was being served in some way, and therefore, in that sense, I did nothing wrong.

While I fully recognize that, in the world of humanity terms at least, what I did was clearly wrong and I take full responsibility for it, I nevertheless surrender to the idea that Spirit does not make mistakes and that what I did was exactly what I had to do to be of spiritual service. I am sorrowful that I hurt some people but at the same time know that, spiritually, I was serving them in some mysterious way and I give thanks for the opportunity to contribute to their growth and to further my own. I now see that I was a blessing in their lives and they were a blessing in mine.

I now release the toxic energy I have been holding within my body, mind, DNA and cellular structure, and surrender to God’s love, knowing that his Love is present in every situation, in every way; and that I am loved.