Welcome to the Finale of the Self-Acceptance Program!
As we stated before, all that you have been doing up to now has been leading to this. This Worksheet will take you through all of the stages of Self-Acceptance that you have gone through in this program.
In case you’d like a reminder, here again are the Stages of Self-Acceptance:
While working this module, you may choose to make the worksheet specific to one particular aspect of self-hatred (ie. feeling unlovable), or keep it general. You may come back to this as many times as you wish to address other aspects of your self-acceptance or to dig deeper into the same one.
In order to fully experience this Self-Acceptance worksheet, you will need a good amount of time, maybe 90 minutes or so, to complete this.
Step 1: My Cool Attributes Are:
When we were very young we learned what would get us love and acceptance, and what got us the opposite. In other words, what is was “cool” to be and what was “uncool” to be. So, if we were shamed for being a certain way, then we would push that part of us away. But it is still there, deep down. First make a list of what you consider your cool attributes.
Step 2: My Uncool Attributes (possibly buried in my unconscious) Are:
Step 3. What I hate most about myself is:
Imagine yourself now as your critical, judging self – someone outside of yourself, pointing the finger at you, confronting you. Really be the critic within and write in the box all the things you need to say. Be as nasty, vindictive and vengeful as you want to be. Again, don�t hold back and don�t limit yourself as far as judgments are concerned about how you feel about yourself. Allow yourself the full range of feelings and expression here.
The way I FEEL about myself:[Check as many boxes as you wish].
It is vitally important that you allow yourself to feel your feelings. Do not censor them or stuff them. Remember, we came into the physical realm to experience emotion — the essence of being human. All emotions are good, except when we suppress them. Stuffing emotion creates potentially harmful energy blocks in our bodies. These blocks often become cancerous tumors.
Need Help Feeling Your Feelings? If you would like to feel your emotions more clearly or strongly, pick up a tennis racquet or a bat and beat the heck out of some cushions or pillows. Use something that will make a noise when you hit the cushions. Screaming into a cushion also helps release feelings. As I have stressed many times, the more you allow yourself to feel the pain that might lie beneath your guilt or shame, the better
Does the thought of having strong feelings scare you? This is not at all uncommon, especially with men who are afraid of doing someone harm if they really allow themselves to feel angry. This is hardly ever the case, but if strong feelings scare you, you might want to delay full expression of them until you have someone present with you when you do this exercise. That person should encourage and support you in feeling your anger (or any other emotion) and make it safe to do so. If you are working with an RF coach, you might wish to enlist his or her support before the session and speak about it with him or her after the session.
Step 4. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being extremely low and 10 being very high), my self-esteem is:
Step 5. I lovingly recognize and accept my feelings, and judge them no more.
This important step provides you with an opportunity to allow yourself some freedom from the belief that feelings like anger, shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, envy, or even sadness are bad and should be denied. No matter what they are, you need to feel your emotions in exactly the way they occur for you, for they are an expression of your true self. Your soul wants you to feel them fully. Know they are perfect and quit judging yourself for having them.
Help with Accepting Your Feelings:
Try the following three-step process for integrating and accepting your feelings:
1. Feel the feeling fully, and then identify it as mad, glad, sad, or afraid.
2. Embrace the feelings in your heart just the way they are. Love them. Accept them. Love them as part of yourself. Let them be perfect. You cannot move into the joy vibration without first accepting your feelings and making peace with them. Say this affirmation: �I ask for support in feeling love for each of my emotions just the way they are, as I embrace it within my heart and accept it lovingly as part of myself.�
3. Now feel love for yourself for having these feelings and know you have chosen to feel them as a way of moving your energy towards healing.
Step 6. I own my feelings. No one can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.
Since emotions are thoughts (or beliefs) attached to a feeling, my feelings are a reflection of how I see (judge) myself in relation to the situation.
This statement reminds us that our emotions are our own and they provide us with good feedback about our beliefs.
When we allow ourselves to feel, recognize, accept, and love our feelings unconditionally as coming from the parts of ourselves that need to be heard, it helps us to become merciful and loving towards those parts, even if we don�t understand where they come from or what part of us is speaking at any particular moment. (It could be the inner critic, the wimp, the professor, the parent, or any one of a great number of the sub-personalities that live within us.)
Step 7. I now realize that these uncool attributes are nothing more than stories I was shammed into believing were true, and which caused me to feel bad about myself. I now completely reject these stories – and restore love to myself.
Step 8. I now lovingly release all judgements and negative feels about myself and totally accept myself just the way I am in all my imperfections. In particular, I release the following: (As in Step 3.)
Step 9. I realize that these are people I might be tempted to hold responsible for shaming me into believing these stories and teaching me that I was less than perfect. As they come to mind, I resolve to do as many Radical Forgiveness worksheets as necessary to forgive them for doing this. (List them.)
Step 10. I would now realistically describe myself, with all my strengths and weaknesses, as follows:Make a strong positive claim about who you are including both cool and uncool shadow attributes, and state you acceptance of who you are just the way you are.
Step 11. I completely forgive myself, and accept myself as a loving, generous, and creative being. I release all need to hold onto any and all ideas that are less than loving about myself and my body. I forgive myself and others, and release all barriers against the love and abundance that I know I have in this moment. I create my life and I am empowered to be myself again, to unconditionally love and support myself, just the way I am, in all my power and magnificence.
Step 12. I now SURRENDER to the Higher Power I think of as and trust in the knowledge that this situation will continue to unfold perfectly and in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual law. I acknowledge my Oneness and feel myself totally reconnected with my Source. I am restored to my true nature, which is LOVE, and I now restore love to myself. I close my eyes in order to feel the LOVE that flows in my life and to feel the joy that comes when the love is felt and expressed.
Step13. A Note to MyselfYou began the Self-Acceptance Worksheet by confronting yourself. Your energy probably has shifted since you began, even if the shift occurred only a moment or two ago. How do you feel now? What would you like to say? Allow yourself to write without conscious thought, if possible, and do not judge your words. Let them surprise even you. Then, as you acknowledge, accept and love yourself unconditionally just the way you are, you recognize and accept the projection that made you see yourself as less than perfect. You can love without judgment now, because you realize that is the only way a person can be loved. You realize that how you appears in the world represents the only way you can be. That is how Spirit has willed you to be.
After you have written the note, say the following out loud. “I completely accept you, (your name), for I now realize that you are perfect just the way you are and that everything is in Divine order. I acknowledge, accept and love you unconditionally just the way you are.”
SELF-ESTEEM CHECK On a scale of 1-10 (1 being extremely low and 10 being very high), my self-esteem is
|When you began the worksheet your self-esteem was:||5|
|Your self-esteem is now:||1|
Click here to download a paper copy of this worksheet for you to use when you’re away from your computer.
Congratulations! You are finished!
I trust you feel a whole lot lighter and much less burdened than you were just a few days ago before beginning this program. Be assured that the improvement is likely to continue now that the inner judge has been, if not silenced, then at the very least, subdued. Look out for things changing for the better in your life too. Once you shift energy, everything else starts to move in the right direction. Expect a miracle or two.
The internal shifting within will continue for quite a few days, so don’t be surprised if you feel a little strange for a while. However, if you should become more than a little upset, do reach out and get help from an appropriate mental health practitioner. The program may have stirred some subconscious material that needs to be worked through with professional help. Our excellent Radical Living Coaches are also available to work with you. You can click here for a list of Certified Coaches.
Important: If you have printed out the worksheet, or the information you entered in any of the modules, keep it all somewhere really safe if any of that information is sensitive.
Evaluation: Would you be willing to take a minute or so to fill in a program evaluation and feedback form? It will help us to know what we need to improve. You will find the evaluation sheet here. Thank you.
Before I get into what is available, let me first of all, assure you that the online program you have just taken is designed to be a complete experience in itself. You might need nothing more.
However, if you are committed to continued personal growth and do indeed want to go further, here are some suggestions on how you might beneficially build on this experience.
1. Do the Worksheets (the last module of each program) Again at NO CHARGE.
2. Do the Other Program
(If you only did one of the programs.)
Guilt and shame tend to go hand in hand. The Self-Forgiveness program deals mostly with guilt; the Self Acceptance deals with shame. Taking the other program would ensure that both guilt and shame had been neutralized so you can be truly free.
3. Repeat the Program After a Few Months
It’s a good idea to go through the entire program again in about two or three month’s time. It is surprising how valuable this can be. The experience tends to take you to a deeper level, even if you work on the same issues as before. You might also want to go through it again with a different issue. This is highly recommended.
4. Order the DVD/CD Self-Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance
The information on the DVD, presented by Colin, will visually reinforce all that you have learned by doing the online programs. It will also serve you well in the future as a reminder of the experience you went through. The CD has a wonderful 7-minute process to use any time you find yourself being self-critical or judgmental about yourself or about something that you did. It will keep you from going back to the old habits like beating yourself up, and gives you a chance, each time, to tell that old “judging-self within,” to shut up. It also has a song specifically written for this CD called, I Forgive You – Me, by Karen Taylor-Good. It’s a great song. To order, click here.
5. Attend the ’Radical Self-Forgiveness’ Workshop
This weekend workshop experience would certainly take you to a much deeper level. It would give you a lot more insight into yourself and would uncover and neutralize your more deeply buried shame-based beliefs. If you really have a strong tendency to keep beating yourself up, even after you have done this online program, this workshop experience would be extremely beneficial. For more information on this workshop, click here.
6. Forgive All Others
Having done the work on yourself, it might be very helpful now to examine whether you still have some negative energy (anger, sadness, resentment, grief, disappointment, etc.) around some particular person or situation, past or present. If you discover that you do, then your first option is to take the FREE Online Forgiveness Worksheet,even if you have done it before. You will find it in the main menu when you first log in. We also offer a number of different Radical Forgiveness workshops that, having done this program, you would find extremely beneficial. Some take a full weekend, others take a day or in some cases just a few hours. Click here for more information on these workshops. Click here for the Schedule.
7. Professional Training
If you are drawn to the idea of making a difference in the world by helping others, you might want to look at our professional training programs that enable you to coach and teach others, and to run workshops. You can be certified to be a Radical Living Coach. Click here for information about all the training programs available.
8. Read “Radical Forgiveness, ” by Colin Tipping.
This is the book that started it all and it tells you all you need to know about Radical Forgiveness and gives you the tools to keep practicing it. To Order click here
Thank you for participating in our Online Programs.
To print out a copy of your worksheet, click “Continue.”