Well done! You have done great work up to this point, and I congratulate you for hanging in there with me. Early on you were a ‘champion victim,’ feeling your feelings and letting your offender know, in no uncertain terms, exactly how you felt about what he or she did. Your first letter made that very clear. Since then, you’ve cut your story down to size and walked their shoes a while.
But, let’s be clear about where we are at this point. Your story is smaller and more focused on the facts, and you understand this person better. However, your belief is still that, since you were badly treated, you are still entitled to be the victim here.
That means you are not at the Radical Forgiveness stage yet. Though, by the time you have completed today’s assignment, you will have certainly prepared the ground extremely well for that to occur very soon.
The assignment today, and it is the major one. Write another letter and even though it will still from the victim’s standpoint without quite letting him or her off the hook, take the wider view of what happened. Exercise some understanding, mercy, and compassion towards him or her.
Drawing on all that you have done these last few days to understand they acted in the way he or she did tell how you can now see the world through their eyes a bit better. Understand what might have led to him or her act in that way. Open your heart as much as you can and write the letter with as much love and compassion as you can muster, but also in a way that does not dis-empower you. It is a fine balance.
Go to your journal, and when the letter is complete, do another mandala.
After this, we begin to move into the third phase — the reframe. Up to now it’s been just conventional forgiveness. However, this is where we move into the real Radical Forgiveness and when the transformation actually starts. It is also when you begin to reap the benefits of having been so totally committed to doing the work over the last thirteen days.
Again to mark the end of this phase, I would like you to listen to another song by Karen Taylor-Good. The Power to Forgive on the next page.