Here’s a bit of research that you can do on your life that I think you will find extremely revealing. It’s to look at how the situation that you are working with here might be similar in some ways to what has happened in the past with other people. If you begin to see a pattern emerging in which others treat you in a similar way, then it is a safe assumption that you have been attracting these experiences to heal something within yourself.
For example, suppose you have had a whole string of people who have been physically abusive with you. Well, there is a purpose in this. We attract people into our lives that show us our unconscious core negative beliefs we hold about ourselves. If you have a belief about yourself that you are not good enough and deserve to be beaten, you attract people that will do that for you. (Note: I use the word “for” rather than “to,” on purpose. — that people will do that FOR you.) Another example might be that people have always abandoned you in some way. That might indicate a deeply held belief that people will always leave you. In other words, you have set yourself up to be abandoned on each occasion just to be right.
The question then becomes, how did these core negative beliefs get started in the first place? This is what the exercise will allow us to discover. More importantly, though, it will help us begin the process of dissolving that belief. Once it has been dissolved, you will cease to have the need to create circumstances like that again. So not only will you forgive this one person for what he or she did to you, you will be preventing it ever happening to you again.
So, the task is to make a timeline and to plot all the circumstances that have some similarity to your current situation. You draw a horizontal line across the page and at the left end, put a B, indicating your birth. At the other end of the line, put an N, which means Now.
Then divide the line into sections equal to the number of years you have been on the planet. Indicate on the timeline when each repeat of the pattern occurred, going right back to childhood.
This is the timeline Steve did in my book, Getting to Heaven on a Harley.
It is a pretty safe bet that you will find that the situation you have found yourself in with this person is similar in some ways to how it was for you in your childhood. For example, going back to the last example, if you have repeatedly been abandoned, the chances are that you might have experienced abandonment in your childhood. One of your parents might have died or left, perhaps. Or, you may have felt abandoned when, having been the only child, a brother or sister was born, and you felt left out. It can be anything like that. It might be something big or something small and seemingly insignificant. But, that doesn’t matter. It was significant to you at the time, so put it on the timeline.
You might also look for a number pattern. This is always a good clue. For example, if you repeatedly get left after five years, or five months, or five weeks, ask yourself what happened when you were five? Did one of your parents leave then? Did something happen to make you feel that things fall apart after five years? If so, you might have said to yourself, “Everything works fine for five years, then people leave me.” That became a belief, and you have acted it out ever since.
If you have not already read Jill’s Story, which is included as one of the Preparation Modules, I strongly suggest that you go back and read it now, or perhaps even read it again. This is a real life example of how all this works.
The good news is that by doing this Radical Forgiveness work on this person, you will automatically heal all of the situations along that timeline, including the original wound you suffered when you were a child. While it looks as though each event along the timeline is a separate event, they are all held together and created out of the same energy pattern extended out and repeated. If you forgive any one of those events along the timeline, you effectively forgive them all. More exciting yet, is that once you have done that, you will no longer be recreating that pattern in the future.
The second thing to do now, to help round off this first seven days is to come up with some logical reasons why you want to forgive this person. Research shows that the subconscious mind is more likely to drop its customary resistance to change of any kind so long as we give it reasons. So, write your reasons and say them out loud. Here are some examples that would be appropriate:
That is the first phase. Telling the Story and Feeling the Feelings. Hopefully, you should be feeling at least a little bit lighter for having told the story and confronted this person by writing that letter. However, we have a way to go yet before the real forgiveness kicks in, so be patient.
To mark this ending of Phase One, let me play a song for you by Karen Taylor-Good. It is called Real.
Tomorrow we will begin the second phase which is collapsing the story. We’ll see you then.
Click the arrow to start the song.