The Radical Forgiveness Worksheet - Online Program

Welcome to the Radical Forgiveness Worksheet. This will take you step-by-step through a virtual Radical Forgiveness worksheet featured in my book, "Getting to Heaven on a Harley - Awaken to the Truth of Who You Are and Imagine Your Own Life Review." It will help you gain a greater understanding of the process as well as gain insight, at each step, as to what you are personally experiencing.

Once you have completed the worksheet, you will be able to utilize a regular hard copy worksheet swiftly and with full understanding any time you need to do one. You might want to download the PDF version of the worksheet by going to the Free Download section and have it laminated.

If you have NOT yet read the book, take a moment to view our suggested FREE READ, and then, perhaps, order the book. As a book reader you will find this dynamic online worksheet to be a great enhancement to, though not a replacement for, the reading experience.

Your reason for doing this on line may be only to familiarize yourself with the worksheet and to gain some understanding of the technology. And, of course, that‘s ok. Carry on.

However, you may also be coming to this on-line worksheet feeling upset with someone or some situation and would like some respite from the negative feelings that have stolen your peace of mind. Well, this is exactly what the worksheet is designed to do—return your mind to a state of peace and dissolve your problems. It‘s difficult to believe, I know, but it is true and it works. In fact, you can test it for yourself. We have built in a simple way to get feedback on just how effective the worksheet has been for you on each occasion that you use it.

If, after having completed this on-line worksheet, you feel you could really do with some one-on-one assistance from a certified Radical Forgiveness Coach, please visit the Radical Forgiveness Coach section of the web site.

ABOUT THE WORKSHEET

The Radical Forgiveness worksheet has literally changed thousands of lives. It is not easy to explain how and why it accomplishes such dramatic results except to say that it helps people shift their energy. You could say that doing the worksheet is, in and of itself, an energy experience. The worksheet helps us change our perspective. We open ourselves to the possibility that everything happens for a reason. If we could see the big picture (which we can‘t), we would see how all events fit together as part of a Divine plan.

The worksheet presents the idea that we have created our experiences in order to learn and grow. When we look back on our lives, we can often see how a situation, that seemed so intolerable at the time, was actually a gift and a time of tremendous growth for us. So too, as we move through the worksheet process, we begin to realize that the people who trouble us the most are often our greatest teachers and healers.

Simply by expressing our willingness to shift our perception in this direction, "stuck energy" can be released, no matter how skeptical or resistant we are at the beginning. Once the energy moves, the situation seems to resolve itself automatically. Be assured that even the tiniest amount of willingness is enough. In fact, just choosing to do the worksheet demonstrates enough willingness to allow the process to work—really. So now, decide on an issue and begin the process.

With warm regards,
Godfrey O'Flaherty and the IIRFL team

TELLING THE STORY

Step One - Your Victim Story

Date

Subject: (X) Whomever you are upset with:

The situation around which I have an upset is, or was.........

This program has a safety feature in which pages will time out if left open for too long. For that reason, it is always a good idea to first write anything that is going to take more than a few minutes into a word processing program first. Then copy and paste it into the worksheet. This way you will not lose your work. Nothing is saved until you click Next.

The first step in the Radical Forgiveness process is always to TELL THE STORY. And, please, tell it from the standpoint of the complete victim. Do NOT edit or overlay it with any spiritual or psychological interpretation. (That will come later.) Don’t hold back. Write as much as you wish, there is no space limitation on this section. Questions to ask yourself: What am I upset about? With whom? Why? What did he/she/it/they do to me? Really BE the victim. No spiritual overlays or making excuses.

Step Two - Getting Started

2a) Confronting the Person Who Victimized You

I am upset with you because . . .

If the event occurred when you were a child or your victimizer had power over you in some other way, it is probable that you were not able to shout back, retaliate or confront the person. So this is your chance to do so. Tell the person (or organization) how much it has hurt or damaged you. Really BE the victim. No spiritual overlays or excuses. Tell it like it was or is.

2b) Feeling the Feelings

Because of what you did (are doing), I FEEL:

Identify your real emotions here. Use feeling words. Sad, angry, betrayed, hurt, rejected, resentful, rageful, vengeful, etc.

FEELING THE FEELINGS

Step Three - Acknowledging My Own Humanness

Now reflect honestly on your feelings about the statements you've already made on this worksheet and select the category of willingness that best matches your feelings at this time.

We suggest saying the statements in this tutorial out loud. Doing so will reinforce the ideas presented in your mind. It will also help bring thoughts that are resistant to the ideas to conscious awareness.

3) I lovingly recognize and accept my feelings, and judge them no more. I am entitled to my feelings.

This important step provides you with an opportunity to allow yourself some freedom from the belief that feelings, like anger, vengefulness, jealousy, envy, even sadness, are bad and should be denied. No matter what they are, you need to feel your emotions in exactly the way they occur for you, for they are an expression of your true self. Your soul wants you to feel them fully. Know that they are perfect and quit judging yourself for having them.

Step Four - Owning My Feelings

State the following out loud and assess your level of willingness to accept the idea.

4) I own my feelings. No one can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.

This is an empowering step because you are taking your power back by owning responsibility for your feelings. When we say others make us feel angry, we give them power over us. Secondly, your feelings give you a tremendous amount of feedback about how you perceive the situation —usually as a victim. Knowing that, you are then in a position to choose to see it differently and then alter your feelings about it.

Step Five - Holding Judgements and Expectations

5) My discomfort was my signal that I was withholding love from myself and by judging, holding expectations, wanting to change and seeing as less than perfect.

List the judgements, expectations and behaviors that indicate that you were wanting him/her/them to change.

When we judge a person (or ourselves) and make them wrong, we withhold love. Even when we make them right, we are withholding love, because we make our love conditional upon their rightness continuing. Any attempt to change someone involves a withdrawal of love, because wanting them to change implies that they are wrong (need to change) in some way. Furthermore, we may even do harm in encouraging them to change, for though we may act with the best intentions, we may interfere with their spiritual lesson, mission and advancement. For instance, if we send unsolicited healing energy to someone because they are sick, we are in effect making a judgment that they are not OK as they are and should not be sick. Who are we to make that decision? Being sick may be the very experience they need to have for their spiritual growth. Naturally if they request a healing, then it becomes a different matter entirely, and you do all you can in response to their request. Nevertheless, you still see them as perfect. It is also revealing to see how many of these judgments and expectations you are making about yourself. Remember — if you spot it, you got it!

NOW COLLAPSING THE STORY

Step Six - Interpretations

6) I now realize that in order to feel the experience more deeply, my soul has encouraged me to create a BIGGER story out of the event or situation than it actually seemed to warrant, considering just the facts. This purpose having been served, I can now release the energy surrounding my story by separating the facts from the interpretations I have made up about it.

List the interpretations and gauge the level of emotion you have around it now.

INTERPRETATIONS I MADE UP ABOUT THE EVENT LEVEL OF EMOTION NOW

Select

Much of our pain is in our being invested, not so much in the facts of what happened, but in what we made up about what happened. e.g. Granddad died — he abandoned me. My mother divorced my Dad — she drove my father away from me. My husband cheated on me — / must no longer be sexually attractive. I was sexually abused — all men will hurt me. My father was emotionally unavailable to me — I'll never be enough. So here you would list the main interpretations and indicate whether the level of emotion and attachment you have around each interpretation is still, at this moment in time, high, medium, low or at zero.

Step Seven - Core Negative Beliefs

7) Core-Negative Beliefs I Either Made Up From My Story or Which Drove the Story.

Check all that apply

I will never

NOW OPENING TO A REFRAME

Step Eight - My Soul Has Created This Situation

8) I now realize that my soul encouraged me to form these beliefs in order to magnify my sense of separation so I could feel it more deeply for my spiritual growth. As I now begin to remember the truth of who I am, I give myself permission to let them go, and I now send love and gratitude to myself and for creating this growth experience.

This is probably the most important statement on the worksheet. It reinforces the notion that thoughts, feelings and beliefs create our experience and that, furthermore, we order our reality in such a way as to support our spiritual growth. When we open ourselves to this truth, the problem almost always disappears. That is because there are no problems, only misperceptions.

The kind of evidence to look out for might be as follows: i. Repeating Patterns. This is the most obvious one. Marrying the same kind of person over and over again is an example. Picking life partners who are just like your mother or father is another. Having the same kind of event happening over and over is a clear signal. People doing the same kind of things to you, like letting you down or never listening to you, is another clue that you have an issue to heal in that area. ii. Number Patterns. Not only do we do things repetitively, but often do so in ways that have a numerical significance. We may lose our job every two years, fail in relationships every nine years, always create relationships in threes, get sick at the same age as our parents, find the same number turning up in everything we do, and so on. It is very helpful to construct a timeline like the one Steve did (see Page 46 of Getting to Heaven on a Harley), except that you might fill in all the dates and note all intervals of time between certain events. You might well find a meaningful time interval pattern in what is happening. iii. Body Clues. Your body is giving you clues all the time. Are you always having problems on one side of your body or in areas that correlate to particular chakras and the issues contained therein, for example? Books by Caroline Myss, Louise Hay and many others will help you find meaning in what is happening to your body and what the healing message is. In our work with cancer patients, for example, the cancer always turned out to be a loving invitation to change or to be willing to feel and heal repressed emotional pain. iv. Coincidences and Oddities. This is a rich field for clues. Anytime anything strikes you as odd or out of character, not quite as you'd expect or way beyond chance probability, you know you are onto something. Where once we thought things happened by chance and were just coincidences, we are now willing to think that it is Spirit making things happen synchronistically for our highest good. It is these synchronicities that lie embedded in our stories; and once we see them as such, we become free then to feel the truth in the statement that "my soul has created this situation in order that I learn and grow."

9) I recognize that my Spiritual Intelligence has created stories in the past that are similar in circumstance and feeling to this one in order to magnify the emotional experience of separation that my soul wanted. I am recognizing some clues in my life that provide evidence that, even though I don't know why or how, my soul has created this particular situation, too, in order that I learn and grow.

List similar stories and feeling experiences (as in 2b) and note the common elements in them.

The kind of evidence to look out for might be as follows: i. Repeating Patterns. This is the most obvious one. Marrying the same kind of person over and over again is an example. Picking life partners who are just like your mother or father is another. Having the same kind of event happening over and over is a clear signal. People doing the same kind of things to you, like letting you down or never listening to you, is another clue that you have an issue to heal in that area. ii. Number Patterns. Not only do we do things repetitively, but often do so in ways that have a numerical significance. We may lose our job every two years, fail in relationships every nine years, always create relationships in threes, get sick at the same age as our parents, find the same number turning up in everything we do, and so on. It is very helpful to construct a timeline like the one Steve did (see Page 46 of Getting to Heaven on a Harley), except that you might fill in all the dates and note all intervals of time between certain events. You might well find a meaningful time interval pattern in what is happening. iii. Body Clues. Your body is giving you clues all the time. Are you always having problems on one side of your body or in areas that correlate to particular chakras and the issues contained therein, for example? Books by Caroline Myss, Louise Hay and many others will help you find meaning in what is happening to your body and what the healing message is. In our work with cancer patients, for example, the cancer always turned out to be a loving invitation to change or to be willing to feel and heal repressed emotional pain. iv. Coincidences and Oddities. This is a rich field for clues. Anytime anything strikes you as odd or out of character, not quite as you'd expect or way beyond chance probability, you know you are onto something. Where once we thought things happened by chance and were just coincidences, we are now willing to think that it is Spirit making things happen synchronistically for our highest good. It is these synchronicities that lie embedded in our stories; and once we see them as such, we become free then to feel the truth in the statement that "my soul has created this situation in order that I learn and grow."

TOWARDS THE REFRAME

Step Ten - If You Spot It, You Got It!

10) I now realize that I get upset only when someone resonates in me those parts of me I have disowned, denied, repressed and then projected onto them. I see now the truth in the adage, "If You Spot It, You Got It!" It's me in the mirror! Willing Open Skeptical Unwilling

Step Eleven - What I Need to Love and Accept in Myself

11) is reflecting what I need to love and accept in myself. Thank you for this gift. I am now willing to take back the projection and own it as a part of my shadow. I love and accept this part of me.

Take time to think about how this may be true as you repeat the above sentences. These statements acknowledge that, when we get upset with someone, that person is invariably reflecting back to us the parts of ourselves that we most despise and have projected onto others.

If we can open ourselves enough to be willing to accept that this person is offering us a chance to accept and love a part of ourselves that we have condemned, and, in that sense, he or she is a healing angel for us, the work will have been done.

As we have said before, you don"t have to like the person. Just recognize him/her as a mirror, and thank the soul of that person by doing this worksheet and then move on.

Neither do we need to figure out what parts of ourselves are being mirrored. Usually it is far too complicated anyway. Let it go at that, and don't be drawn into an analysis. It works best without it.

Step Twelve - A Healing Dance

12) Even though I may not understand it all, I now realize that you and I have both been receiving exactly what we each had subconsciously chosen and were doing a dance with and for each other to bring us to a state of awakened consciousness.

This statement serves as yet another reminder of how we can instantly become aware of our subconscious beliefs if we look at what shows up in our lives. What we have at any particular point in time is truly what we want. We have, at the soul level, chosen our situations and experiences, and our choices are not wrong. This is true for all parties involved in the drama. Remember, there are no villains or victims, just players. Each person in the situation is getting exactly what they want. Everyone is engaged in a healing dance.

Step Thirteen - I am Willing to See the Perfection

13) I now realize that nothing you, have done is either right or wrong. I am able now to release the need to blame you or anyone else. I release the need to be right about this, and I am WILLING to see the perfection in the situation just the way it is.

This step confronts you with the perfection in the situation and tests your willingness to see this perfection.

Step Fourteen - Willingness to See My Mission

14) I am willing to see that, for whatever reason, my mission or soul contract included having experiences like this and that you and I may have agreed to do this dance with and for each other in this lifetime. If it is for the highest good for both of us, I now release you and me from that contract.

This statement is simply there to remind us of one of the assumptions of Radical Forgiveness—that we come into this life experience with a mission or an agreement with Spirit to do certain things, be a certain way or transform certain energies. Whatever that mission was or is, we simply know that the experiences we are having are part and parcel of the role we came in to play. Princess Diana's story is a great example of that. Please note that the last part of the statement absolves us from the need to know what the mission was.

Step Fifteen - I Release All Feelings

15) I release from my consciousness all feelings of (as in Box # 2b):

15

Saying these words out loud sends a powerful message to deeper levels of your mind. It enables the level of mind that controls unconscious functions to literally release the feelings noted here.

REFRAMING THE STORY

Step Sixteen - The Radical Forgiveness Reframe

16) The story in Box #1 was your Victim Story, based in the old paradigm of reality (victim consciousness). Now attempt a different perception of the same event (a reframe), from your new empowered position, based on the insights you have experienced as you have proceeded through this worksheet. l now realize...

It may simply be a general statement indicating that you just know everything is perfect, or a statement that includes things specific to your situation if, that is, you can actually see what the perfection is. Often you cannot. Be careful not to do a reframe that is based in World of Humanity terms. Note any positive shift in feeling tone.

INTEGRATING THE SHIFT

Step Seventeen - I Unconditionally Love and Support Myself

17) I completely forgive myself

and accept myself as a loving, generous and creative being. I release all need to hold onto emotions and ideas of lack and limitation connected to the past. I withdraw my energy from the past and release all barriers against the love and abundance that I know I have in this moment. I create my life and I am empowered to be myself again, to unconditionally love and support myself, just the way I am, in all my power and magnificence.

The importance of this affirmation cannot be overemphasized. Say it out loud, and let yourself feel it. Let the words resonate within you. Self-judgment is at the root of all our problems and even when we have removed judgment from others and forgiven them, we continue to judge ourselves. We even judge ourselves for judging others!

Step Eighteen - Surrender to a Higher Power

18) I now SURRENDER to the Higher Power I think of as

and trust in the knowledge that this situation will continue to unfold perfectly and in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual law. I acknowledge my Oneness and feel myself totally reconnected with my Source. I am restored to my true nature, which is LOVE, and I now restore love to

I close my eyes in order to feel the LOVE that flows in my life and to feel the joy that comes when the love is felt and expressed.

Step Nineteen - A Note To You

19) A Note of Appreciation and Gratitude to you. Having done this worksheet I now....

I completely forgive you, for I now realize that you did nothing wrong and everything is in Divine order. I bless you for being willing to play a part in my Awakening — thank you — and honor myself for being willing to play a part in your Awakening. I acknowledge and accept you just the way you are.

Step Twenty - A Note to Myself

20

I recognize that I am a spiritual being having a spiritual experience in a human body, and I love and support myself in every aspect of my humanness.