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The International Institute for Radical Forgiveness and Leadership logo

The International Institute for Radical Forgiveness and Leadership (IIRFL) has been borne out of the Institute for Radical Forgiveness, which was developed by Colin Tipping in 1997. In 2019, Colin chosen Godfrey O’Flaherty to be the Custodian and owner of the Radical Forgiveness work. Godfrey has bought all the Radical Forgiveness Intellectual Property, as well as the business of Radical Forgiveness, as a Global Enterprise from Collin Tipping.

Our Mission

The Institute’s mission is to raise consciousness through expanding forgiveness across the globe. The IIRFL is  the official international body which will govern all the work of Radical Forgiveness, globally.

IIRFL Around the World

Radical Forgiveness has been translated into 9 languages across 51 countries. The IIRFL accredit and register coaches across the globe, to add to its already thriving body of coaches and students.

Additionally, IIRFL will continue to expand its global reach, as it recently set up the Africa Institute Affiliate for IIRFL. The Africa Institute will work throughout the continent in the field of forgiveness and as a bridge-building institution for individuals, organizations and communities.

The Future

Training and Development

Under the direction of Godfrey O’Flaherty, we are establishing a Centre for Research, to focus on coaching research about the impact of forgiveness and healing of the body, mind and soul. The Institute is in the process of refreshing our current Radical Forgiveness Coaching and developing other future programs, including:

  • revamping the existing Radical Forgiveness Master Coaching program;
  • developing an MSc program in transpersonal psychology, based on the Radical Forgiveness body of knowledge;
  • creating a Master of Art (MA) in Radical Forgiveness Coaching, which will be a step up from our Master Coaching Program; and
  • intending to develop Doctoral programs in those two fields in the future

The Colin Tipping Foundation

The IIRFL will house the Colin Tipping Foundation, in loving memory of Colin and his incredible work. This foundation will be a philanthropic organization, managed on behalf of funders. It aims to create projects and programs run under the Radical Forgiveness banner that will facilitate emotional healing around the world. Using the Radical Forgiveness methodologies, projects will include developing youth leaders, addressing gender base discrimination and guiding communities globally on dealing with social challenges. (Using the Radical Forgiveness technology, example projects include developing youth leaders, empowering woman and dealing with social challenges faced by communities around the world.)

Education

IIRFL seeks to play a more active role in the education space. We aim to equip the youth globally, especially from disadvantageous communities to deal effectively with the challenges these communities face. With this aim in mind we strive to contribute constructively to the emotional wellbeing of young learners, throughout the world. The Colin Tipping philanthropy foundation will fund these international systemic forgiveness projects. The  mission of the Colin Tipping Foundation  is to facilitate emotional wellbeing, living with awareness and resilience which will enable learners to embrace, advance and develop their full human potential.

Leadership Development

Finally, leadership development is also at the heart of the Institute’s future focus. With the IIRFL, Godfrey seeks to use his passion and experience in leadership development, by creating programs that will help leaders in communities, organizations and all walks of life to rise above their own egos and in so doing being released from their shadow that derails them from their purpose. In this way, the IIRFL aims to bring reconciliation and promote healing through Radical Forgiveness programs.

The International Institute for Radical Forgiveness and Leadership looks forward to partnering  with you on this personal growth and development journey

The Radical Forgiveness Worksheet - Online Program

Step 1 of 20

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Welcome to the Radical Forgiveness Worksheet. This will take you step-by-step through a virtual Radical Forgiveness worksheet featured in my book, "Getting to Heaven on a Harley - Awaken to the Truth of Who You Are and Imagine Your Own Life Review." It will help you gain a greater understanding of the process as well as gain insight, at each step, as to what you are personally experiencing.

Once you have completed the worksheet, you will be able to utilize a regular hard copy worksheet swiftly and with full understanding any time you need to do one. You might want to download the PDF version of the worksheet by going to the Free Download section and have it laminated.

If you have NOT yet read the book, take a moment to view our suggested FREE READ, and then, perhaps, order the book. As a book reader you will find this dynamic online worksheet to be a great enhancement to, though not a replacement for, the reading experience.

Your reason for doing this on line may be only to familiarize yourself with the worksheet and to gain some understanding of the technology. And, of course, that‘s ok. Carry on.

However, you may also be coming to this on-line worksheet feeling upset with someone or some situation and would like some respite from the negative feelings that have stolen your peace of mind. Well, this is exactly what the worksheet is designed to do—return your mind to a state of peace and dissolve your problems. It‘s difficult to believe, I know, but it is true and it works. In fact, you can test it for yourself. We have built in a simple way to get feedback on just how effective the worksheet has been for you on each occasion that you use it.

If, after having completed this on-line worksheet, you feel you could really do with some one-on-one assistance from a certified Radical Forgiveness Coach, please visit the Radical Forgiveness Coach section of the web site.

ABOUT THE WORKSHEET

The Radical Forgiveness worksheet has literally changed thousands of lives. It is not easy to explain how and why it accomplishes such dramatic results except to say that it helps people shift their energy. You could say that doing the worksheet is, in and of itself, an energy experience. The worksheet helps us change our perspective. We open ourselves to the possibility that everything happens for a reason. If we could see the big picture (which we can‘t), we would see how all events fit together as part of a Divine plan.

The worksheet presents the idea that we have created our experiences in order to learn and grow. When we look back on our lives, we can often see how a situation, that seemed so intolerable at the time, was actually a gift and a time of tremendous growth for us. So too, as we move through the worksheet process, we begin to realize that the people who trouble us the most are often our greatest teachers and healers.

Simply by expressing our willingness to shift our perception in this direction, "stuck energy" can be released, no matter how skeptical or resistant we are at the beginning. Once the energy moves, the situation seems to resolve itself automatically. Be assured that even the tiniest amount of willingness is enough. In fact, just choosing to do the worksheet demonstrates enough willingness to allow the process to work—really. So now, decide on an issue and begin the process.

With warm regards,
Godfrey O'Flaherty and the IIRFL team

TELLING THE STORY

Step One - Your Victim Story

MM slash DD slash YYYY

This program has a safety feature in which pages will time out if left open for too long. For that reason, it is always a good idea to first write anything that is going to take more than a few minutes into a word processing program first. Then copy and paste it into the worksheet. This way you will not lose your work. Nothing is saved until you click Next.

The first step in the Radical Forgiveness process is always to TELL THE STORY. And, please, tell it from the standpoint of the complete victim. Do NOT edit or overlay it with any spiritual or psychological interpretation. (That will come later.) Don’t hold back. Write as much as you wish, there is no space limitation on this section. Questions to ask yourself: What am I upset about? With whom? Why? What did he/she/it/they do to me? Really BE the victim. No spiritual overlays or making excuses.

Step Two - Getting Started

2a) Confronting the Person Who Victimized You

If the event occurred when you were a child or your victimizer had power over you in some other way, it is probable that you were not able to shout back, retaliate or confront the person. So this is your chance to do so. Tell the person (or organization) how much it has hurt or damaged you. Really BE the victim. No spiritual overlays or excuses. Tell it like it was or is.

2b) Feeling the Feelings

Identify your real emotions here. Use feeling words. Sad, angry, betrayed, hurt, rejected, resentful, rageful, vengeful, etc.

FEELING THE FEELINGS

Step Three - Acknowledging My Own Humanness

Now reflect honestly on your feelings about the statements you've already made on this worksheet and select the category of willingness that best matches your feelings at this time.

We suggest saying the statements in this tutorial out loud. Doing so will reinforce the ideas presented in your mind. It will also help bring thoughts that are resistant to the ideas to conscious awareness.

This important step provides you with an opportunity to allow yourself some freedom from the belief that feelings, like anger, vengefulness, jealousy, envy, even sadness, are bad and should be denied. No matter what they are, you need to feel your emotions in exactly the way they occur for you, for they are an expression of your true self. Your soul wants you to feel them fully. Know that they are perfect and quit judging yourself for having them.

Step Four - Owning My Feelings

State the following out loud and assess your level of willingness to accept the idea.

This is an empowering step because you are taking your power back by owning responsibility for your feelings. When we say others make us feel angry, we give them power over us. Secondly, your feelings give you a tremendous amount of feedback about how you perceive the situation —usually as a victim. Knowing that, you are then in a position to choose to see it differently and then alter your feelings about it.

Step Five - Holding Judgements and Expectations

5) My discomfort was my signal that I was withholding love from myself and by judging, holding expectations, wanting to change and seeing as less than perfect.

When we judge a person (or ourselves) and make them wrong, we withhold love. Even when we make them right, we are withholding love, because we make our love conditional upon their rightness continuing. Any attempt to change someone involves a withdrawal of love, because wanting them to change implies that they are wrong (need to change) in some way. Furthermore, we may even do harm in encouraging them to change, for though we may act with the best intentions, we may interfere with their spiritual lesson, mission and advancement. For instance, if we send unsolicited healing energy to someone because they are sick, we are in effect making a judgment that they are not OK as they are and should not be sick. Who are we to make that decision? Being sick may be the very experience they need to have for their spiritual growth. Naturally if they request a healing, then it becomes a different matter entirely, and you do all you can in response to their request. Nevertheless, you still see them as perfect. It is also revealing to see how many of these judgments and expectations you are making about yourself. Remember — if you spot it, you got it!

NOW COLLAPSING THE STORY

Step Six - Interpretations

6) I now realize that in order to feel the experience more deeply, my soul has encouraged me to create a BIGGER story out of the event or situation than it actually seemed to warrant, considering just the facts. This purpose having been served, I can now release the energy surrounding my story by separating the facts from the interpretations I have made up about it.

List the interpretations and gauge the level of emotion you have around it now.

INTERPRETATIONS I MADE UP ABOUT THE EVENT LEVEL OF EMOTION NOW

Much of our pain is in our being invested, not so much in the facts of what happened, but in what we made up about what happened. e.g. Granddad died — he abandoned me. My mother divorced my Dad — she drove my father away from me. My husband cheated on me — / must no longer be sexually attractive. I was sexually abused — all men will hurt me. My father was emotionally unavailable to me — I'll never be enough. So here you would list the main interpretations and indicate whether the level of emotion and attachment you have around each interpretation is still, at this moment in time, high, medium, low or at zero.

Step Seven - Core Negative Beliefs

7) Core-Negative Beliefs I Either Made Up From My Story or Which Drove the Story.

NOW OPENING TO A REFRAME

Step Eight - My Soul Has Created This Situation

This is probably the most important statement on the worksheet. It reinforces the notion that thoughts, feelings and beliefs create our experience and that, furthermore, we order our reality in such a way as to support our spiritual growth. When we open ourselves to this truth, the problem almost always disappears. That is because there are no problems, only misperceptions.
The kind of evidence to look out for might be as follows: i. Repeating Patterns. This is the most obvious one. Marrying the same kind of person over and over again is an example. Picking life partners who are just like your mother or father is another. Having the same kind of event happening over and over is a clear signal. People doing the same kind of things to you, like letting you down or never listening to you, is another clue that you have an issue to heal in that area. ii. Number Patterns. Not only do we do things repetitively, but often do so in ways that have a numerical significance. We may lose our job every two years, fail in relationships every nine years, always create relationships in threes, get sick at the same age as our parents, find the same number turning up in everything we do, and so on. It is very helpful to construct a timeline like the one Steve did (see Page 46 of Getting to Heaven on a Harley), except that you might fill in all the dates and note all intervals of time between certain events. You might well find a meaningful time interval pattern in what is happening. iii. Body Clues. Your body is giving you clues all the time. Are you always having problems on one side of your body or in areas that correlate to particular chakras and the issues contained therein, for example? Books by Caroline Myss, Louise Hay and many others will help you find meaning in what is happening to your body and what the healing message is. In our work with cancer patients, for example, the cancer always turned out to be a loving invitation to change or to be willing to feel and heal repressed emotional pain. iv. Coincidences and Oddities. This is a rich field for clues. Anytime anything strikes you as odd or out of character, not quite as you'd expect or way beyond chance probability, you know you are onto something. Where once we thought things happened by chance and were just coincidences, we are now willing to think that it is Spirit making things happen synchronistically for our highest good. It is these synchronicities that lie embedded in our stories; and once we see them as such, we become free then to feel the truth in the statement that "my soul has created this situation in order that I learn and grow."

The kind of evidence to look out for might be as follows: i. Repeating Patterns. This is the most obvious one. Marrying the same kind of person over and over again is an example. Picking life partners who are just like your mother or father is another. Having the same kind of event happening over and over is a clear signal. People doing the same kind of things to you, like letting you down or never listening to you, is another clue that you have an issue to heal in that area. ii. Number Patterns. Not only do we do things repetitively, but often do so in ways that have a numerical significance. We may lose our job every two years, fail in relationships every nine years, always create relationships in threes, get sick at the same age as our parents, find the same number turning up in everything we do, and so on. It is very helpful to construct a timeline like the one Steve did (see Page 46 of Getting to Heaven on a Harley), except that you might fill in all the dates and note all intervals of time between certain events. You might well find a meaningful time interval pattern in what is happening. iii. Body Clues. Your body is giving you clues all the time. Are you always having problems on one side of your body or in areas that correlate to particular chakras and the issues contained therein, for example? Books by Caroline Myss, Louise Hay and many others will help you find meaning in what is happening to your body and what the healing message is. In our work with cancer patients, for example, the cancer always turned out to be a loving invitation to change or to be willing to feel and heal repressed emotional pain. iv. Coincidences and Oddities. This is a rich field for clues. Anytime anything strikes you as odd or out of character, not quite as you'd expect or way beyond chance probability, you know you are onto something. Where once we thought things happened by chance and were just coincidences, we are now willing to think that it is Spirit making things happen synchronistically for our highest good. It is these synchronicities that lie embedded in our stories; and once we see them as such, we become free then to feel the truth in the statement that "my soul has created this situation in order that I learn and grow."

TOWARDS THE REFRAME

Step Ten - If You Spot It, You Got It!

Step Eleven - What I Need to Love and Accept in Myself

Take time to think about how this may be true as you repeat the above sentences. These statements acknowledge that, when we get upset with someone, that person is invariably reflecting back to us the parts of ourselves that we most despise and have projected onto others.

If we can open ourselves enough to be willing to accept that this person is offering us a chance to accept and love a part of ourselves that we have condemned, and, in that sense, he or she is a healing angel for us, the work will have been done.

As we have said before, you don"t have to like the person. Just recognize him/her as a mirror, and thank the soul of that person by doing this worksheet and then move on.

Neither do we need to figure out what parts of ourselves are being mirrored. Usually it is far too complicated anyway. Let it go at that, and don't be drawn into an analysis. It works best without it.

Step Twelve - A Healing Dance

This statement serves as yet another reminder of how we can instantly become aware of our subconscious beliefs if we look at what shows up in our lives. What we have at any particular point in time is truly what we want. We have, at the soul level, chosen our situations and experiences, and our choices are not wrong. This is true for all parties involved in the drama. Remember, there are no villains or victims, just players. Each person in the situation is getting exactly what they want. Everyone is engaged in a healing dance.

Step Thirteen - I am Willing to See the Perfection

This step confronts you with the perfection in the situation and tests your willingness to see this perfection.

Step Fourteen - Willingness to See My Mission

This statement is simply there to remind us of one of the assumptions of Radical Forgiveness—that we come into this life experience with a mission or an agreement with Spirit to do certain things, be a certain way or transform certain energies. Whatever that mission was or is, we simply know that the experiences we are having are part and parcel of the role we came in to play. Princess Diana's story is a great example of that. Please note that the last part of the statement absolves us from the need to know what the mission was.

Step Fifteen - I Release All Feelings

Saying these words out loud sends a powerful message to deeper levels of your mind. It enables the level of mind that controls unconscious functions to literally release the feelings noted here.

REFRAMING THE STORY

Step Sixteen - The Radical Forgiveness Reframe

It may simply be a general statement indicating that you just know everything is perfect, or a statement that includes things specific to your situation if, that is, you can actually see what the perfection is. Often you cannot. Be careful not to do a reframe that is based in World of Humanity terms. Note any positive shift in feeling tone.

INTEGRATING THE SHIFT

Step Seventeen - I Unconditionally Love and Support Myself

and accept myself as a loving, generous and creative being. I release all need to hold onto emotions and ideas of lack and limitation connected to the past. I withdraw my energy from the past and release all barriers against the love and abundance that I know I have in this moment. I create my life and I am empowered to be myself again, to unconditionally love and support myself, just the way I am, in all my power and magnificence.

The importance of this affirmation cannot be overemphasized. Say it out loud, and let yourself feel it. Let the words resonate within you. Self-judgment is at the root of all our problems and even when we have removed judgment from others and forgiven them, we continue to judge ourselves. We even judge ourselves for judging others!

Step Eighteen - Surrender to a Higher Power

and trust in the knowledge that this situation will continue to unfold perfectly and in accordance with Divine guidance and spiritual law. I acknowledge my Oneness and feel myself totally reconnected with my Source. I am restored to my true nature, which is LOVE, and I now restore love to

I close my eyes in order to feel the LOVE that flows in my life and to feel the joy that comes when the love is felt and expressed.

Step Nineteen - A Note To You

I completely forgive you, for I now realize that you did nothing wrong and everything is in Divine order. I bless you for being willing to play a part in my Awakening — thank you — and honor myself for being willing to play a part in your Awakening. I acknowledge and accept you just the way you are.

Step Twenty - A Note to Myself

I recognize that I am a spiritual being having a spiritual experience in a human body, and I love and support myself in every aspect of my humanness.

International Institute for Radical Forgiveness & Leadership (IIRFL)

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