Where Does it Hurt?

This assignment is designed to get you in touch with your feelings by first all establishing the facts and then having you identify and evaluate the emotions you have about the situation at this time. Its always important to begin a healing process by acknowledging where you are NOW. However, if the death occurred a long time ago, you may need to touch into the pain you felt at the time the death occurred and see whether it is still with you.  You may have suppressed it. That often occurs during the first stage, which is denial.

Take your time over this assignment and be really honest with yourself. Don’t hold anything back.  It’s for your eyes only, so let it all out. That said, though, be careful to keep it private. When you have completed it, you have the option to print it out. If you do, put somewhere safe where other won’t find it. The information will stay on the computer until you click the link to clear it. When you do that, everything is gone, so that’s safe.

Be sure to fill in all the fields, otherwise the printout of the final result won’t make sense. If you have nothing to say in one or more of the fields, write “Nothing to to Say Here.

Please do read the important message at the bottom, in red, about playing safe by writing stuff first in a word processor and cutting and pasting it into the worksheet. It’s very frustrating to spend a couple of hours writing and than having something happen to wipe it all out. It’s happened to all of us at some time or another, I’m sure. Better safe than sorry.

2. How were you related to him or her?

3. What Were the Circumstances of the Death?
(Write as much as you wish, but please read the important note at the bottom of this page.)

4. How Long Ago Did the Death Occur?

5. Was the Death: (Check all that apply.)

6. What Were Your Main Reactions at the Time of the Person’s Passing?
(Check all that apply.)

(Write down all your feelings, reactions, thoughts, judgments in addition to the above, if any.)

7. What Feelings Were Present in You At the Time or When You First Learned of the Death?

8. Indicate Whether These Feelings Have Changed Since the Death — Less Intense, More Intense, or the Same? 

Type ‘YES’ next to your answer

9. Who Do You Blame (if anyone), and Why?

Write down their name and explain.

10. On a Scale of 1-10. How Angry/Bitter Do You Feel Toward The Person or People You Blame?

11. What would you like to say to those you blame? Write it now and take as much room as you need to say all that you would want to say: