The Radical Self-Forgiveness Worksheet

Step 2: It is vitally important that you allow yourself to feel your feelings. Do not censor them or stuff them. Remember, we came into the physical realm to experience emotion the essence of being human. All emotions are good, except when we suppress them. Stuffing emotion creates potentially harmful energy blocks in our bodies. These blocks often become cancerous tumors.

If you are aware of any shame, anger, and fear moving in you right now, give each one a rating on a scale of 1-10, 1 being very little feeling, and 10 being full blast raw emotion.

Step 3: This important step provides you with an opportunity to allow yourself some freedom from the belief that feelings like anger, shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, envy, even sadness are bad and should be denied. No matter what they are, you need to feel your emotions in exactly the way they occur for you, for they are an expression of your true self. Your soul wants you to feel them fully. Know they are perfect and quit judging yourself for having them.

Need help feeling your feelings?

It can help if you do something physical at the same time as you give voice to your concerns. For example, pick up a tennis racquet and beat the heck out of some cushions while shouting and screaming about your upset as loud as you can. Another way is to scream into the a cushion.

I lovingly recognize and accept my feelings, and judge them no more.

Step 4: This statement reminds us that our emotions are our own and they provide us with good feedback about our beliefs.

When we allow ourselves to feel, recognize, accept and love our feelings unconditionally as coming from the parts of ourselves that need to be heard, it helps us to become merciful and loving towards those parts, even if we don’t understand where they come from or what part of us is speaking at any particular moment. (It could be the inner critic, the wimp, the professor, the parent, or any one of a great number of the sub-personalities that live within us.)

Step 4.  I own my feelings. No one can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.

Step 5: As I really examine how I feel about myself, I realize that underlying the feelings, there is a belief or a set of beliefs that I hold about myself that are not true. My self judgements have been based in what others, particularly my parents, saw in me and taught me about myself. For Example, I have believed that I…:

Step 6: My guilt 

Step 7: I now realize that what I judge in others represents what I hate about myself and have repressed and projected onto them.

Step 8: People I dislike are therefore reflecting what I need to love and accept in myself.

Step 9: In forgiving myself, I heal myself and totally recreate my reality with regard to who I am.

Step 10: I now realize that nothing I, or anyone else has done or is doing is right or wrong. I drop all judgment.

This step goes against what we have ever been taught about being able to distinguish between right and wrong, good and evil. After all, the whole world often gets divided up along those lines. Yes, we know that the World of Humanity is really just an illusion, but that doesn’t alter the fact that the human experiences demand that we make these particular distinctions in our daily lives.

What helps us with this step is realizing that we are only affirming that there is no right or wrong, good or bad when seeing things from the spiritual big picture standpoint  from the perspective of the World of Divine Truth. From there we are able to get beyond the evidence of our senses and minds and see Divine purpose and meaning in everything. Once we are able to see that, then we can understand that there is no right or wrong. It just is. There are truly no victims or perpetrators. We are all healing angels for each other, dedicated to each other’s spiritual growth.

People experience this step differently in the process of self-forgiveness than they do when forgiving others. They find it less of a stretch to imagine that their being victimized is/was perfect in the sense that it was all part of the Divine plan, than to accept that in their hurting someone else, there was also perfection. In self-forgiveness then, we seem to have to bring more effort to bear in allowing this to be equally true. If there are no victims, there can be no perpetrators.

Step 12: I am willing to see that my mission or ‘soul contract’ included having experiences like this – for whatever reason.

A soul contract is an agreement that we made with other souls, prior to coming into the human experience, to carry out certain pre-planned missions to balance karmic energies, to heal group pain, to raise consciousness around some issue, etc. Who could possibly know what the mission really was? We just need to be open to the possibility that the situation we have guilt around might have involved a soul contract and if there are others involved in the situation, they may well have been the other souls with whom the contract was struck.

Step 13: Even though I don’t know why or how, I now see that my soul has created this situation in order that I learn and grow.

This is probably the most important statement on the worksheet.It’s importance comes in its ability to help you feel your way out of the victim/perpetrator mode into the possibility that everything that happened or is happening, is or was purposeful. It acknowledges that the Divine essence within, your soul, has set the situation up for you so you can learn, grow and heal a misperception or a false belief.

When we open ourselves to this truth, the problem almost always disappears. That’s because there are no problems, only misperceptions. .

This step also creates self-empowerment. The empowerment comes in realizing that since we have created a situation, we have the power to change it. We can make a conscious choice to see ourselves as the victim of circumstance, or we can choose to see our circumstance as an opportunity to learn and to grow and to have our lives be the way we want.

However, be careful not to judge yourself for creating a situation. Remember, the Divine part of yourself created it. If you judge the Divine part of you, you judge God. Acknowledge yourself as a wonderful, creative, Divine being with the ability to create your own lessons along the spiritual path, lessons that eventually will take you home. Once you are able to do this, you are able to surrender to the Divine essence that you are and to trust it to do the rest.

Step 14: Even though I may not know why or how, I now realize that I have been receiving exactly what I want and had subconsciously chosen and, (if there are others involved,) we were doing a healing dance with and for each other.

This statement serves as yet another reminder that what we have at any particular point in time truly is what we want. We have, at the soul level, chosen our situations and experiences, and our choices are not wrong. And this is true for all parties involved in the drama. Remember, there are no villains or victims, just players. Each person in the situation is getting exactly what they want. Everyone is engaged in a healing dance.

Step 17. I completely forgive those who implanted the ideas that I have held.

The people I am forgiving are:

Step 18: THE REFRAME: I now realize that what I was experiencing (my story about victimizing myself) was a precise reflection of my ignorance of the truth.

Step 19:  I completely forgive myself,                                  ,
and accept myself as a loving, generous, creative being. I release all need to hold onto negative emotions and ideas of low self-worth. I withdraw my energy from the past and release all barriers against the love and abundance that I know I have already. I create my thoughts, my feelings and my life and I am empowered to be myself again, to unconditionally love and support myself, just the way I am, in all my magnificence.

The importance of this affirmation cannot be overemphasized. Say it out loud! Let yourself feel it! Let the words resonate within you.

If you notice yourself in resistance to believing this to be true about you, be willing to go through the resistance, knowing that on the other side lies peace and joy. Be willing also to feel any pain, depression, chaos and confusion that might occur while you are going through it.

Step 20:  “ I now SURRENDER to the Higher Power I think of as

Step 21: A note to anyone that I hurt or negatively affected in some way.

An example: “Having done this worksheet I now realize that there was a Divine Order to what happened. However, from the perspective of being in this physical world of pain and suffering, I nevertheless choose to make a Radical Apology, to make amends and ask for your forgiveness.”

My Radical Apology is as follows:

Step 22: A Note to Myself

You began the Radical Self-Forgiveness Worksheet by blaming yourself for something or feeling ashamed of some part of you. Your energy probably has shifted since you began, even if the shift occurred only a moment or two ago. How do you feel about the situation now? What would you like to say to yourself? Allow yourself to write without conscious thought, if possible, and do not judge your words. Let them surprise even you. (Resist the temptation to go back to self-blame again.)

Maybe, as you acknowledge, accept and love yourself unconditionally just the way you are, you will be able to release the perception of yourself as less than perfect.

Perhaps you can accept that how you show up in the world represents the only way you can be. That is how Spirit has willed you to be.

Congratulations! You are finished!

We trust you feel a whole lot lighter and much less burdened than you were just a few days ago before beginning this program. Be assured that the improvement is likely to continue now that the inner judge has been, if not silenced, then at the very least, subdued. Look out for things changing for the better in your life too. Once you shift energy, everything else starts to move in the right direction. Expect a miracle or two.

The internal shifting within will continue for quite a few days, so don’t be surprised if you feel a little strange for a while. However, if you should become more than a little upset, do reach out and get help from an appropriate mental health practitioner. The program may have stirred some subconscious material that needs to be worked through with professional help. Our excellent Radical Living Coaches are also available to work with you. You can click here for a list of Certified Coaches.

Important: If you have printed out the worksheet, or the information you entered in any of the modules, keep it all somewhere really safe if any of that information is sensitive.

Evaluation: Would you be willing to take a minute or so to fill in a program evaluation and feedback form? It will help us to know what we need to improve.  Thank you.

Before we get into what is available, let us first of all, assure you that the online program you have just taken is designed to be a complete experience in itself. You might need nothing more.

However, if you are committed to continued personal growth and do indeed want to go further, here are some suggestions on how you might beneficially build on this experience.

1. Do the Worksheets (the last module of each program) Again at NO CHARGE.

2. Do the Other Program
(If you only did one of the programs).

Guilt and shame tend to go hand in hand. The Self-Forgiveness program deals mostly with guilt; the Self-Acceptance deals with shame. Taking the other program would ensure that both guilt and shame had been neutralized so you can be truly free.

3. Repeat the Program After a Few Months

It’s a good idea to go through the entire program again in about two or three month’s time. It is surprising how valuable this can be. The experience tends to take you to a deeper level, even if you work on the same issues as before. You might also want to go through it again with a different issue. This is highly recommended.

4. Order the DVD/CD Self-Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance

The information on the DVD, presented by Colin, will visually reinforce all that you have learned by doing the online programs. It will also serve you well in the future as a reminder of the experience you went through. The CD has a wonderful 7-minute process to use any time you find yourself being self-critical or judgmental about yourself or about something that you did. It will keep you from going back to the old habits like beating yourself up, and gives you a chance, each time, to tell that old “judging-self within,” to shut up. It also has a song specifically written for this CD called, I Forgive You – Me, by Karen Taylor-Good. It’s a great song. To order, click here.

5. Forgive All Others

Having done the work on yourself, it might be very helpful now to examine whether you still have some negative energy (anger, sadness, resentment, grief, disappointment, etc.) around some particular person or situation, past or present. If you discover that you do, then your first option is to take the FREE Online Forgiveness Worksheet, even if you have done it before. You will find it in the main menu when you first log in. We also offer a number of different Radical Forgiveness workshops that, having done this program, you would find extremely beneficial. Some take a full weekend, others take a day or in some cases just a few hours. Click here for more information on these workshops. Click here for the Schedule.

6. Professional Training

If you are drawn to the idea of making a difference in the world by helping others, you might want to look at our professional training programs that enable you to coach and teach others, and to run workshops. You can be certified to be a Radical Living Coach. Click here for information about all the training programs available.

8. Read “Radical Forgiveness, ” by Colin Tipping.

This is the book that started it all and it tells you all you need to know about Radical Forgiveness and gives you the tools to keep practicing it. To Order click here

Thank you for participating in our Online Programs.

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