Radical Self-Acceptance – Worksheet

When we were very young we learned what would get us love and acceptance, and what got us the opposite. In other words, what is was “cool” to be and what was “uncool” to be. So, if we were shamed for being a certain way, then we would push that part of us away. But it is still there, deep down. First make a list of what you consider your cool attributes.

Step 2: My Uncool Attributes (possibly buried in my unconscious) Are:

Step 3. What I hate most about myself is:

Imagine yourself now as your critical, judging self – someone outside of yourself, pointing the finger at you, confronting you. Really be the critic within and write in the box all the things you need to say. Be as nasty, vindictive and vengeful as you want to be. Again, don�t hold back and don�t limit yourself as far as judgments are concerned about how you feel about yourself. Allow yourself the full range of feelings and expression here.

The way I FEEL about myself: Towards myself, I feel:

[Check as many boxes as you wish].

As I look at my life, I feel:

In general, I feel:

If you are aware of any one, or all three, of the following feelings moving in you right now, give each one a rating on a scale of 1-10, 1 being very little feeling, and 10 being full blast raw emotion.

Step 4. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being extremely low and 10 being very high), my self-esteem is:

Step 5. I lovingly recognize and accept my feelings, and judge them no more.

This important step provides you with an opportunity to allow yourself some freedom from the belief that feelings like anger, shame, guilt, fear, jealousy, envy, or even sadness are bad and should be denied. No matter what they are, you need to feel your emotions in exactly the way they occur for you, for they are an expression of your true self. Your soul wants you to feel them fully. Know they are perfect and quit judging yourself for having them.

Help with Accepting Your Feelings:

Try the following three-step process for integrating and accepting your feelings:

1. Feel the feeling fully, and then identify it as mad, glad, sad, or afraid.

2. Embrace the feelings in your heart just the way they are. Love them. Accept them. Love them as part of yourself. Let them be perfect. You cannot move into the joy vibration without first accepting your feelings and making peace with them. Say this affirmation: I ask for support in feeling love for each of my emotions just the way they are, as I embrace it within my heart and accept it lovingly as part of myself.

3. Now feel love for yourself for having these feelings and know you have chosen to feel them as a way of moving your energy towards healing.

Step 6. I own my feelings. No one can make me feel anything. My feelings are a reflection of how I see the situation.

Since emotions are thoughts (or beliefs) attached to a feeling, my feelings are a reflection of how I see (judge) myself in relation to the situation.

This statement reminds us that our emotions are our own and they provide us with good feedback about our beliefs.

When we allow ourselves to feel, recognize, accept and love our feelings unconditionally as coming from the parts of ourselves that need to be heard, it helps us to become merciful and loving towards those parts, even if we don’t understand where they come from or what part of us is speaking at any particular moment. (It could be the inner critic, the wimp, the professor, the parent, or any one of a great number of the sub-personalities that live within us.)

Step 7. I now realize that these uncool attributes are nothing more than stories I was shammed into believing were true, and which caused me to feel bad about myself. I now completely reject these stories – and restore love to myself.

Step 8. I now lovingly release all judgements and negative feels about myself and totally accept myself just the way I am in all my imperfections. In particular, I release the following: (As in Step 3.)

Step 9. I realize that these are people I might be tempted to hold responsible for shaming me into believing these stories and teaching me that I was less than perfect. As they come to mind, I resolve to do as many Radical Forgiveness worksheets as necessary to forgive them for doing this. (List them.)

Step 10. I would now realistically describe myself, with all my strengths and weaknesses, as follows:

Make a strong positive claim about who you are including both cool and uncool shadow attributes, and state you acceptance of who you are just the way you are.

Step 11.  I completely forgive myself

Step 12. I now SURRENDER to the Higher Power

Step 13.  A Note to Myself

You began the Self-Acceptance Worksheet by confronting yourself. Your energy probably has shifted since you began, even if the shift occurred only a moment or two ago. How do you feel now? What would you like to say?

Allow yourself to write without conscious thought, if possible, and do not judge your words. Let them surprise even you. Then, as you acknowledge, accept and love yourself unconditionally just the way you are, you recognize and accept the projection that made you see yourself as less than perfect. You can love without judgment now, because you realize that is the only way a person can be loved. You realize that how you appears in the world represents the only way you can be. That is how Spirit has willed you to be.

After you have written the note, say the following out loud.