Welcome to the program. I am very appreciative of the fact that you are willing to trust us on this issue of forgiving someone. I am very confident that you will find the level of success that you are looking for. There are a couple of things, though, I would like to say to you before you get going with the program.
First of all, the reasons for our wanting to forgive will be many and varied. They range from the feeling that someone was not there for us emotionally to having experienced some awful abuse by someone.
On the face of it, the spread seems so broad that it is tempting to think that the emotional pain we suffer at one end of that continuum is much worse (or better, depending on what end you are looking from), than the pain suffered by the person at the other end. Now I think that assessment would be dead wrong. Since emotional pain is a purely subjective experience, it really cannot be quantified. It is what it is, irrespective of its cause. Pain is pain.
If you are one of those who might be thinking to yourself, “My pain is insignificant compared to others who have had a great deal more than I, so I shouldn’t be feeling like this,” then please stop. You cannot compare one person’s pain with another’s.
Your pain is your pain, and to us and as far as this program is concerned, your pain is no less or more important than anyone else’s. Neither are you any more or less worthy than anyone else to receive our support in moving through it. So, please, from this point on, just know that your need to heal so you can be free of the pain, is no less urgent, no less important, or less needed than anyone else’s.
There is another aspect to this as well. No matter whether we were abused and beaten by someone or just ignored, the wound is essentially the same – rejection. No matter how it was wielded, the sword of rejection by someone, is deeply wounding. No other form of rejection can hurt as much, and it can come in so many different ways. It is known as our primal wound.
If it is your parents you came here to forgive and depending on your age, you may now feel very differently towards them than when you suffered at their hands when you were a child. Many severely abused people have come to love their parents in their later years and have found ways to have a decent relationship with them. However, it does not alter the fact that they were wounded as a child and most likely are still carrying the pain deep down — even if their parents have apologized.
Whether it is your parents you are forgiving, your siblings, your partner, your co-worker, or even your own children, the benefits are the same and this program will work for any one or all of them. Try it on all of them if it applies.
The benefits of you doing the forgiveness process now and letting that old pain go are enormous, not just to you but the person you forgive as well. Even though it is you doing the forgiving, and even without you saying anything to that person, they will still feel it. As your energy shifts, theirs shift also, and they may well respond. Not that you should have an expectation that they will, but the chances are good that they will. That is just how Radical Forgiveness works.
You would think that doing the forgiveness work will be more beneficial to both you and the other person if they are still alive. For them to go into the death experience with issues unresolved, words unspoken and energies not cleared, is not the best way to go. Under such circumstances, death is likely to be painful and difficult. Conversely, if they make their transition clear of negative energy, the process is more likely to be easy and peaceful. Moreover, you will have a sense of completion that will empower you to carry on your life free from guilt, remorse, resentment or regret. You will have more energy, and your health will be all the better for having done the forgiveness work
So let’s be clear about one thing. When you do this program, you are not doing it AGAINST that person. You are doing it for yourself, of course, but you are also doing it FOR them. You are doing it to tap into the well of compassion and forgiveness so that you can feel more love towards them, not less. It is the most loving thing you can do for them, as well as the most self-loving thing you can do for yourself.
Now, having said all that, suppose this person is already on the spirit side of life. Well, my sense of it is that their souls will be just as relieved by you forgiving them as they might have been had you done it while they were still alive. Perhaps even more so, since they now know the full story behind your spiritual relationship. They want you to be free so they can move on. So, make the assumption that it makes no difference whether they are alive or dead. Doing this work is just as valuable either way.
Pain is pain, as we have said, but suffering is different. Pain is simply there to be felt. Suffering, on the other hand, is much more a matter of how we relate to the pain and what interpretations we put upon it. It is determined by our consciousness, which is defined as being the sum total of our attitudes, beliefs and perceptions that we have about a particular issue causing the pain.