Congratulations and Welcome!
You are about to make a very important and exciting journey with this Radical Relationships: Expanding in Love Online Program. It is likely to change how you see the world, how you came to be here and how you choose to live your life from this point on, especially with regard to relationships.
I applaud you for making a commitment to yourself to do it. In my opinion, it is a very self-supportive — even self-loving — thing to do. I hope you get a lot out of it.
The program is based on a very successful workshop titled Expanding in Love which was itself based on the teachings in my book, Expanding into Love. The workshop was built around the very same tasks and worksheets that you will be doing online in this program, so, you will be getting the very same content, albeit delivered in a different way.
The way the program is built provides you with a different but equally valuable form of feedback that supports your learning and shows you how to apply it to your relationships in particular, and to your life in general.
One big advantage of doing it online is that you can keep coming back to it whenever you need to in order to refresh your memory or hear the information again and again. So let’s get started, shall we?
The modules on the left side of the menu are designed to be completed consecutively. Once you have completed one, the next will be available when you go back to the main menu. The Tipping Method Tools on the right side of the menu are available at any time during the program.
We suggest you begin by first doing the following:
1. Read and Digest the Notes on Radical Forgiveness and the Purpose of Relationships (Page 2)
You will need to read these notes over a few times. If at first you find the ideas challenging, perhaps even seemingly ridiculous, don’t worry. You don’t have buy into the ideas if you don’t want to. But they do provide a sort of starting point for the work that is required in creating the relationships we want. And, of course, I will explain them more in later modules.
2. Fill in the Relationship Assessment Questionnaire
This is going to be very helpful to you during this program, so don’t just rush through it. Spend a good amount of time alone on it and give each question a lot of consideration. Make additional notes on the questions that have meaning to you. The questions may be ones you have never thought to ask yourself so you might learn a lot and gain insight about how you have experienced relationships in the past.
You should do the worksheet on your own and without conferring at all with your current partner. If he or she is willing to do a worksheet for himself or herself that would be ideal. But you should NOT share with each other until after you have completed this program. This is very important. If you share it before we have taught you how to share it, and how to follow up afterwards, it can make things very difficult indeed.
If you are not currently in a relationship, then do the assessment on a previous relationship. That is just as good because the learning will be just the same. It will be enormously helpful when it comes to creating a new relationship.
WARNING — You WILL Experience Resistance: We always say that the work actually begins the moment you decide to enroll. Feelings start to arise in you that are sometimes uncomfortable and even a little scary at times. That’s because your subconscious mind knows that you are getting ready for change, and that is something your subconscious mind always resists. It prefers the status quo – even if it means staying unhappy.
Watch out, therefore, for some resistance coming up. You may experience this as regret at having signed up for this program, finding reasons why you shouldn’t start it, getting sick, creating actual circumstances that might interfere with you completing it, and so on. Sometimes people purchase the program and never start it for some seemingly plausible reason – but in reality it’s because they didn’t really understand this phenomenon of resistance. I mention this in the hope that it won’t happen to you!
3. Read the Expanding into Love eBook. Click the link on the left to download the book in PDF format and follow your browser’s instructions. You must have Adobe Reader or another compatible program that allows for the opening of PDF files.
Radical Forgiveness – The Basics
In practice, the process of Radical Forgiveness consists of five distinct stages, the first three of which are more or less the same as conventional forgiveness. It is at the fourth and fifth stages that difference lies and where all the action is. And I should warn you – if you are new to it, it is likely to blow your mind.
But don’t worry, you don’t have to believe it for it to work. The more skeptical you are, the better I like it! I’m skeptical too. Anyway, let me take you through the five stages and you will see what I mean.
Click the arrow to begin the presentation. (Note: This video was made for another program, hence the reference to earlier modules, but it is equally applicable to this program.)
Stage One is where you tell the story of what happened, why you feel victimized or upset in some way, who is to blame and so on. Nothing unusual there.
Stage Two, which usually arises from Stage One, is to give yourself permission to feel the full range of feelings associated with the story, no matter what they are.
Stage Three asks you to take a step back and try to understand the person’s motives for doing what they did. Then bring some empathy, mercy and compassion into the mix, and do your best to cut them some slack in spite of what they did to you. You also try to cut out all the ‘extras’ in the story – the stuff that isn’t quite true but which you added to the story to further justify your upset.
Now, that’s as far as conventional forgiveness can go. It still identifies you as a victim. Even though you are making an effort to forgive the person, he or she is not let off the hook. He/she is still seen as a perpetrator responsible for your unhappiness. No wonder conventional forgiveness takes forever and few ever achieve it!
Stage Four. This is where Radical Forgiveness takes us to where few have been before. This stage asks that you make a dramatic shift in your thinking about yourself and the world you inhabit. We call this stage the Radical Forgiveness Reframe. Get ready!
At this stage, you are asked to become willing to embrace a new philosophy of life and a new paradigm of reality, if only for a few moments. You are required to be open to the possibility that there is divine purpose in everything, and that at the spiritual level there is nothing to forgive. That’s because everything that occurs happens not TO you but FOR you. It’s all part of your own Divine plan. Therefore, there are no mistakes.
Everything happens for a reason. Wow!
Is your mouth gaping open? Is your mind already thinking, “That’s a stupid idea!” Why wouldn’t it? It goes against everything we know to be true, doesn’t it? Even if your mind is still thinking about it, I bet it has already thought of many exceptions, right? Of course it has. Your mind is built to question everything, to find the logical flaws in any idea. But I can assure you that there is another part of you that knows the Truth and totally gets it – your Higher Self.
Stage Five. Initially, the energy attached to your victim story was firmly held in the cellular structure of your body. Having just done the reframe, which turns your old victim story on its head, the last task now is to replace the old victim story with the new one. This is achieved by doing something physical, hence the need for the tools.
The Tools Are Essential
While the work of Radical Forgiveness, is simple and easy to do, it only works if you use the special tools provided. On the surface, they appear to be simple worksheets and audio equivalents, but the fact is they are totally necessary. This is because the Radical Forgiveness tools – worksheets, audios, and online programs – enable us to bypass our rational minds, and connect us with our Spiritual Intelligence, which is the intelligence of your Higher Self.
The tools provide the means of faking-it-’til-you-make-it’, because they ask only that you be willing to be open to the possibility that the ideas contained in the new paradigm might be true. That placates the rational mind and, consequently, it gives up its resistance. Your Spiritual Intelligence takes it from there.
Having made a case for the practicality of Radical Forgiveness, even though it may seem crazy if you haven’t heard of this before, I feel I must add another theoretical dimension to it which will make it seem even more so. Again, you don’t have to believe it. It is based on my observations of people in my workshops over the years, and answers some of the questions raised by the Radical Forgiveness paradigm. Such questions include:
Why are we here?
Why take on a human body and come to this earth plane?
Why incarnate at all?
What is the purpose?
What follows may not be ‘the Truth,’ but it seems to resonate with a lot of people when I present it to them. It just seems to feel right. It goes like this:
I think it is likely that at some moment in a soul’s evolution it will begin seeking the true meaning of its own existence. It will also develop a desire to know what it really means to be in the state of Oneness. But the only way the soul can know these things is to experience the opposite of them: darkness, fear and separation.
Yet, just to know them would not be enough. They would want to experience each of them as a feeling, and for that they would need a body. So they would lower their vibration and incarnate as a human being on the earth plane. Their soul’s journey as a spiritual being having a human experience would begin there.
However, in order for them to have the full emotional experience of being separate, fearful and in darkness, they would have to submit to having spiritual amnesia for a certain number of years. They would need to believe that this human reality is the one reality, and that the life they begin to live as a human being is the only life. Otherwise they wouldn’t play the game as it was meant to be played.
But having signed up for a certain amount of pain of separation, fear and darkness, measured in what I call karmic units, they would subconsciously create as many opportunities as possible through which to feel the pain of separation.
Once they experience the amount of fear, darkness and separation they signed up for, they would begin the process of awakening and remembering who they are. My observation is that this tends to happen around midway through life. [In case you are wondering where you are in your own soul’s journey, my assessment is that, irrespective of your age, you would not be doing this online program if you were not either at or beyond that point of awakening.]
So, assuming you have awakened, having had as much experience of separation as you needed, you can now go back along the time line of your life and, using Radical Forgiveness, begin clearing away the debris of your traumas, your old belief systems, your mistakes, your disasters and everything else that served its purpose during the first phase of your life. It is now just toxic energy waiting to be dumped, so you can begin living in a new way in the second phase.
This is where you shift your concerns away from survival, competition, materialism, and success towards being of service to others, staying awake, healing yourself and saving the planet.
So that’s it. I refer to it as the Soul’s Journey. Hopefully it is sufficient to provide the context for what follows in this program. If nothing else, when I speak of the Awakening, you will know what I mean.
That’s it for now. Enjoy the program.
Click here to download a copy of the Expanding into Love eBook and then follow your browser’s instructions. (Note: This is a PDF file that can be opened with Adobe Reader or other compatible viewers.)