6. My Ideal Self: Who I would really like to be

Who would you love to be if there were no limitations, expectations, or barriers? If you were really free to be who you wanted to be, how would it look or feel? Who are your personal heroes and role models?

In the next Module, you will be asked about your personal heroes and role modules and the impact that they have had in your life. You will reflect on what it is about these heroes and role models that you can imagine having in yourself. Its important to answer as open and honestly as possible.

After you have completed this question there will be the following evaluation:

In each case, any score above 50 shows that your two selves (perceived real self and inferred self) are on the side of being congruent. (i.e. similar). Similarly, any score above 50 indicates your other two sides (perceived real self and your ideal self) are on the side of being congruent.

If either one is showing a level of congruency less than 50 this indicates a significant level of incongruency which can begin to be problematic for you.

Such a difference in the first one (a) will lead to low confidence and uncertainty about who you are. Social interaction will be difficult and, as a result, you may be inclined to withdraw and avoid social situations. Anything lower than 40 would likely cause a high level of anxiety and various forms of aberrant behavior.

Such a difference in the second one (b) will lead to loss of one’s true identity and at a very low level might involve self-deception, grandiosity, high need to prove oneself and irregular or uncharacteristic behavior.

How To Correct the Incongruency:
In the case of (a) you need to use your chart constructed in 1 and 2 to identify the aspects of you that you projecting out to other people which they are picking up, that are NOT true.

Then you will need to make conscious effort to correct how you project those aspects, by consciously willing yourself to project the opposite – in other words what is true about you.

It will feel difficult and scary at first because you have been hiding yourself for a reason, even if you don’t know what it is. This may be revealed as you progress through this program so be patient about knowing the source of what made you develop a false identity to present to the world. The reason is not all that important anyway. The important thing is to make effort to change how you present your true self to the world, now that you know where and how the misperception occurs. Relax and be yourself.

In the case of (b) you will need to look at charts 1 and 4 to see where the gaps between reality and fantasy are too wide. There is a reason for this which, again, will probably be revealed as you go through the program, but for now it is probably enough to begin making conscious effort to decrease the energy you give to the fantasy personality you would love to be and increase your awareness and appreciation of who you are, just the way you are.

At the end of the program, you will have a chance to do a similar evaluation with which to compare. Hopefully, there will be a lot more congruency.

See you in the next Module!

Get your Quiz Hat on, as at the end of Module 7, we will be asking you some questions about the things you have reflected on in the past few modules.