4 Phases of Relationships Worksheet

The Purpose of Relationships Before Awakening is HEALING — Then Happiness


Honeymoon Period
6 – 12 Months

Being in love
Eros love
Strong sexualattraction
Sex is great
Passion and romance
Pleasing each other
Getting to know each other
Giving and receiving
Building trust
Exhilaration and bliss
Building intimacy
Negative Side
Withholding love to control
Manipulating the other
Keeping secrets
Hiding aspects not so nice
Not being honest
At the point when real
intimacy (INTO-ME-SEE) is achieved and the relationship seems to be perfect – WHAM!!! One partner turns into a tyrant. If this happens, the choice is to a) run, (b) settle, or (c) heal the issue being reflected.



Being a couple

up to 4-7 years 


Assuming you didn’t run or the ‘about turn’ didn’t
happen, you continue.

Did you settle?
Reality Sets In
Responsibilites mount up
Becoming more domestic
In-Laws get involved
Control becomes an issue
Pressures mount
Not so ‘in-love” now
Philia Love + Some Eros
Unequal sex drives emerge
Demands get made
Pressures mount
Fights occur
Dissatisfaction sets in
One begins to dominate
Control dramas emerge
Monogamous for now but ..
Passion fatigue sets in
Heavt duty commitments
Previous hidden shadow
material starts to act out.
Meanness, selfishness, a
cruel streak perhaps, abuse
even. One partner cheats.
Will it Survive? Doubtful.



Years of Struggle
Until the Awakening

You are in too deep now, so you stay.
Love is re-affirmed and both commit
Philia or Storge Love mostly now
Sex is routine and sporadic
Very little passion and energy
Children suck all the energy out of it
Control issues deepen
Pressures mount
One partner dominates
Co-dependence sets in
Demands get made
Domestic pressure mount
Fights occur
Career needs intervene
Resentments start to spill over
Old wounds begin to get acted out
Judgments and criticism increases
An affair may begin
Feeling trapped
Very little happiness or joy in it now
Some unforeseen disaster occurs that sets
off one partner’s ‘dark night of the soul’
It’s his or her wake up call
It’s time to awaken to the truth
The relationship either begins to die at this point unless both recognize the opportunity to experience real love and decide to use Radical Forgiveness to get to Phase 4.



Expanding into real love after the awakening


Relationship re-negotiated
Commitment to go back to previous
Phases and clean out the energy using
The Tipping Method tools.
The Radical Forgiveness philosophy
prevails now
A major shift in one’s world view
Now seeing the divine light him/her

Agape Love and unconditional accep-
tance of him /her

Deep abiding friendship
No demands
No expectations
No controlling the other
No Judging
Total trust
Complete freedom to be who they are
Boundaries and values respected
Recognizing the soul contract
Honest communication
Real Happiness