13 Steps To Radical Grieving

The Radical Grieving Exercise:
In setting it up, this is what I say in the beginning: “Just as I say that all the tools we use to shift into the new paradigm help us to ‘fake-it-till-we-make-it,’ this exercise will help you ‘fake’ letting go of all the old ideas about death. Then one day you might discover that you have in fact let it go along with the suffering attached to it. So, let’s get into it, shall we?

Bring to mind one of your losses and run through, in your mind, the circumstances of the death. Remind yourself of what this person who died meant to you, and then read out loud, slowly and with awareness, each of the following statements.

1. In the wake of his/her death, I am allowing myself to feel how deeply I burn with grief over the loss. What a hole the loss has left in me! How my heart aches over the loss. I am focusing all my attention on the grief and allowing it to flow through my body. I am allowing the tears to come forth without restriction.

2. I claim my right to have such feelings and am willing to drop all judgments about my emotional state, knowing that no matter what I believe about death, it is essential that I feel my grief totally.

3. I am willing to see that a person’s dying is an integral part of their life’s journey, and the timing and circumstances of their death are all part of their divine plan and, at times, even a matter of choice. I am now willing to see that death is simply an illusion.

4. Knowing this now, I am willing to let go of all my judgments about this death and the circumstances in which it happened.

5. I am open to the idea that we all existed in spirit before we chose to take on a body as a way to purposely experience separation and that I will continue to exist, albeit in a state of oneness after my
body has ceased to be.

6. I am willing to be open to the idea that the death I am grieving was in a sense perfect and was meant to happen that way.

7. I am open to the idea that in my willingness to accept the person’s death as perfect, in the spiritual sense, I am making the person’s transition easier, more peaceful, and harmonious than it would otherwise be were I to continue seeing it as tragic or wrong.

8. Even though I know I am going to miss this person, I am nevertheless beginning to feel more peaceful and accepting of the death itself, knowing that it was this person’s choice to become free of the burden of having a physical body and to go home.

9. I am now finding myself letting go of the need to see the death as anything less than perfect and beginning now to feel a sense of peace both for myself and for the other person.

10.Death is neither a failure nor an unnatural occurrence. Coming to an acceptance of death as part of life itself brings a deeper meaning to our sense of loss and ultimately is the balm that heals our grief. As I now release this person from any further need to be  energetically attached to me, I am beginning to feel a little more peaceful now.

And, so it is.